Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I am that stupid

I really envy you beautifully lazy Americans (still residing in the US), your painless moments of performing simplified tasks such as laundry. Unless of course you don't have a washing or drying machine in which case I'm just a baby and I empathize having to bag and walk to the nearest laundromat...

Europe has a completely polar opposite take on what a washing machine should look and function like and Eastern Europe has taken that extreme and turned it back into what it originally was: hard work.

Our current washing machine model is over a quarter century old and besides being written in Hungarian, it uses symbols and letters to represent what you might possibly want to accomplish by placing dirty laundry within its confines. I've picked 4A1/2. Supposedly that says that I want the clothes washed at 40 degrees C, with a spin cycle.

Open the lid and you notice that there is another stanger looking lid attached to what we call the basket. This holds the clothing inside while the machine from hell spins every which way but normally. Forget to attach that and you've beaten me for the title.

You must also plug the unit in after and only after deciding on which sequence of characters you think best represent your laundering needs. This starts the machine a-rumblin' as there is no power switch.

There are 2 hoses attached to the back: 1 attaches directly to a cold water only spigot and 2 attaches to nowhere but rather expects to be placed into something with a drain where all the dirty-soapy- god-only-knows-where-this-dirt-came-from can be expelled. In our case it is the bathtub. Newer models can be attached to its own personal drain but not ours, no siree.

I FORGOT TO PUT THE STUPID FUCKING HOSE IN THE BATHTUB. Instead of washing all that goop down the drain, ( believe me it is sludge water; slimy and gross and eeeewwww) it washed all over the floor of both the bathroom and Julia's room. That is how stupid I am.

Luckily for me, our apartment doesn't have wall to wall carpeting. But we do have carpets all over the place. After we washed the floors twice and cleaned up the rugs we realized...there is no space to dry the dripping wet floor rugs except for on the balcony. So they're "drying" on the balcony in 10 degree weather. I figure they'll be done about April!

The kicker to all of this is that I didn't find the mess and try to fix it before someone else happened to see the ooze, nnooo, someone else found it first and why is it always me doing something really stupid? I mean. come on, it's our marriage for fuck's sake and it's still only me.

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