Sunday, April 22, 2007

an appeal

I've thrown myself into all things superficial these last couple of weeks. I've gone shopping, I've gone to lunch, I've finished a bunch of knitting projects, and I've watched a lot of Scrubs. You see, I'm avoiding thinking about a decision that I have no say in. It will essentially decide my future and to tell the truth, I'm frightened. I hate not being in control of my will, and I absolutely hate that a bureaucrat will approve or deny my petition, based on superficial words on a page. A random stranger will pass judgment on my husband and decide whether worthy of citizenship or not.
I volley back and forth whether I even want to return home. I could easily make my life in either place, but I want to be able to go home, all of us, to visit. So, a plea:

Dear Heavenly Father/ Allah/ Thor/ Goddess of The Eastern Light/ Whatever Your Name Might Actually Be:

I bow before You humbly to honor Thee. Although I've no idea why you would appear to men long ago, but now during the darkest of times when man has turned against man in a fight impossible to resolve; I mean, come on. A system of beliefs is invisible and is based upon faith. Faith in Thee, who is also invisible. And yet men slaughter each other in one of Thy names, accusing one another of slander, heresy, and immorality. Why do they not respond in Thy image? Were we not created in His likeness? Should we not be compassionate and respect each other despite our differences? Did I misinterpret Thy Will as recorded by men?

I did not beseech Thee listen to complain. Maybe You believe we mortals capable and thus have not abandoned us to our fate, but rather as a concerned parent allows their child to make mistakes in order to learn life's valuable lesson. In that case I ask Thee to assist with our pending immigration. I do not want Thee to magically take of everything, but if you could just give Mr. Adjudicator an extra dose of Love and Compassion when deciding our case I would forever exalt Thy Greatness by living compassionately.

In Thy Name,
(And if ya'll don't mind crossing your fingers or doing that thing you do when invoking luck, I'd really appreciate it.)
(More knitting pics soon.)


a.nagy said...

don't know if it is of any comfort, but when my husband and i applied for his spousal visa/perm residence last summer, we had heard all the horror stories too. but in the end it ended up going MUCH better than we had been imagining. it isn't always a nightmare come true ... having said that i'll definitely keep my figures crossed for you both!

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Am sending your prayers and positive vibes. Please let us know how things turn out, k? Am sending you hugs too!

LetterB said...

Fingers crossed and crossed again. I have suffered at the hands of the same bureacrats so you have my deepest condolences. For what it's worth I am sure that it will all be fine. I just wish you didn't have to go through the process. It's heinous.