Tuesday, October 10, 2006

all(or none?)recipes rant

To the Powers that Be at Online Recipe Database:

Since when is a recipe that calls for 1 bottle Italian dressing or 1 bottle favorite BBQ sauce, a fucking recipe? (If you clicked through, you feel my ire, yes?) Or, for that matter, one that calls for 3 cans refrigerated biscuit dough.... These are not recipes, but rather Items Which Can be Purchased at the Local Grocery; they are the manufacturer's recipe, which I don't believe they care to share publicly. (By the way, monkey bread I is fantastic.)

Just so we're on the same page, yeah, because as I know it a recipe is comprised of ingredients, i.e. 2 C flour, 1 tsp. salt, 1 T Honey, 2 tsp yeast; they are items that are not necessarily edible in and of themselves. Rather, they require work and complementary ingredients to be transformed into food. I turned to your pages in hopes of a recipe which I can *make from scratch*. A bottle of my fav. BBQ sauce can hardly be considered scratch.

Don't get me wrong, before you f'd up the user compatibility by "changing the face", I frequented your site often; I believe there are a lot of excellent recipes waiting to be found. Unfortunately, they seem to be hiding out behind those that call for readily available items.

You should know that I spend obscene amounts of time planning my meals and your site is one that assists in making me a better chef, when I'm not suffering through those that think adding minced garlic to a bottle of sauce constitutes a recipe.

Upholding the ideal of a recipe,

(Never fear, the humor I derive from perusing your pages guarantees that I will continue. At least until I find a site more ridiculous than yours.)

(haha, karma is swift 'round these parts. No sooner had I begun my diatribe than the 3 shots of palinka kicked in and caused me to trip over the laptop cord, stub my big toe on the metal coffee table leg, rugburn my toe to the point that it bled, and fall on my face trying to get away from said posessed laptop cord.)

(Check out the homemade bandage my husband rigged up to aliviate the swelling. Should I, who is obviously skating the line of white trash, be allowed to bitch so openly about bottled recipes while sporting a wet rag taped to my foot? hmm... I think that is the real question here.)

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