what is wrong with me

... that until yesterday I had never watched Legends of the Fall? I am 29, throughout most of my late teens/early 20's I had a healthy infatuation with Brad Pitt; I was 17 when it came out and what 17 year old didn't see that movie?

Oh wait. I think I know why. After I got caught sneaking out to a party when I was 14*, not only was I grounded for an entire year but when I was allowed to resume a social agenda, I had to specify where, what, when, how, and why. Also, my mom had to know their parents. So, I started using movies as the where so that I could hang out, experiment with drugs, and have a boyfriend.

My friends, being the supportive ones they were, would help to sort out the details before anyone asked if they could go out. We researched films, figured out at which theater it was playing, the showtime, and made cliff notes. You know, in case my mom called their mom and asked what their kid had done. She did that sort of stuff.

I know it caused my friends to lie to their parents as well, but it worked quite nicely and I never got caught again. Although I never again told my parents I was spending the night somewhere unless I really was. It just takes once, people.

Anyhow, we had a great system and according to our parents, junior and senior year we saw approximately 200 movies. In all actuality we probably saw 10 movies and all of them were at the 99-cent-theater.

We spent a lot of time hanging out at our friend's house whose mom worked swing shift, making smoothie parties and playing ultimate frisbee. Yea, we did watch a movie from time to time but mostly we just hung out as only teens and the fake-believe world of Friends can.

Which leads me to a daughter raising question: how do I keep the lines of communication open so that Julia won't feel she has to lie to me to hang out, and yet still be a stricter type of parent? I know how I was and while I don't think I was particularly bad (I mean, come on, I had a job, I maintained straight A's, and took courses at the local J.C. just to get a head start) I did take my fair share of hallucinogens. Is there such a thing as promoting a safe experimentation agenda? How do you promote any teenage agenda without the teen completely rebelling?

Thank God I have at least 10 years to think about this, it's going to take that long just to get my story straight.

*Okay, so I wasn't the most common sense filled teen out there; I told my parents I was staying at a friends' and she said she was staying at mine and it almost worked until my mom called her mom in the morning to see if I needed a ride to church. Surprise! I wasn't there.