bars and brazen comments

It is 4 years, this week, since I met my husband for the first time. I was introduced to him and (maybe I was drunk or deaf, who knows?) proceeded to call him Voltron for the next 2 weeks.

"Hey 5penny, this is Zoltan."
"Hi Voltron, was it? Nice to meet you."

I think when he received his nametag I realized what a fool I was, not that it came as a big surprise...I have a very weird vein to begin with. We casually made conversation during our shift at the Horrible Restaurant and slowly, I began to realize that I was drawn to him. I would go out of my way to invite him out; once even going so far as to invite him along when I had already invited my sure-thing. This proved to be the turning point in our relationship. I ditched my sure-thing. (I told you I was drawn, I wanted conversation over sex!)

The bar closed and the next thing I knew we were high as kites, quite drunk, wandering around the Exploratorium in the middle of the night. We talked and laughed and stared at the stars, we walked the circumference of the lake. Halfway round, Zoli stops and begins this monologue about the doors barring the possibility of us. I was really flustered as there was no us, just 2 silly drunks hanging out occasionally. He enumerated on the doors starting with the biggest one: 1) I had a child, 2) he was returning in a few months to his country, 3) I had a child, etc.

We talked until 4 or 5 in the morning, before leaving he asked me a question I could not answer, namely, who was I? hmm.

I dropped him off and went home. I sat and thought and revisited the conversation and what it meant. At 6:30 am no sleeping in sight, I had an overwhelming urge to drive back to his apartment and answer his question. I didn't.

That weekend at work I saw him. I went up to him, greeting him, saying something to the point of, "wow, that conversation kept me up all night, I wanted to drive back to your place and finish it." To which he replied, "really, what did we talk about?"

WHAT!?!

I lost sleep, thinking about who I was, why we were refusing a relationship we had never even discussed and he couldn't remember what it was about? He was the one who stated so matter of factly that we couldn't be together and he didn't remember it!

Some weeks later, we were at a bar with the whole crew after our shift and I playfully stuck out my tongue at him. He looked at me, looked at his drink, looked back and stated, "one day you'll have to follow through." Coyly (or drunkenly) I replied, "allright then, do you need a ride home?" (jeez, what a brazen hussie, I am. Was!)

Four years later and here we are; living in his country, raising my child. It's not our anniversary but I just want to say that I am the most lucky woman in the world. There is not a day that I don't thank the eternal void for having aligned our crash courses or the brazen manner in which we acted.

Thank you for unlocking the doors and inviting me in.

I love you.